An Admission I Don’t Want to Make (But Need To)

Here’s my admission.

My daughter said, “Dad, put your phone down,” while I was driving.

She’s 13. And she was right.

It was a clear signal that something I’ve been telling myself is “manageable” isn’t.

The Truth

I’m an exhausted dad. I run my own business. I work with leaders who are carrying a lot. And somewhere along the way, I let distraction become a coping strategy. Not because I don’t care — but because I’m tired, overstimulated, and looking for relief in the smallest possible doses.

The problem is: those doses don’t help. And it's getting to the point that I'm feeling the pain in my neck, and my family sees me living with a head down, glued to distractions of news, opinions, and other lives. I'm way less present in the places I actually want to be present. My wife notices it. She’s been honest about how much she sees the burned-out version of me lately (the one who’s distracted, short, half-there) instead of the version of me that’s thoughtful, helpful, and actually available. And she’s right too.

That’s the part that stings the most: I know the difference. I know which version of me I want to be. And I also know that scrolling, checking, and refreshing my emails aren’t neutral habits. They’re choices. Small ones, but repeated.

So this year, I’m naming it plainly.

My mantra for 2026 is “Water the roots, not the weeds.”

For me, the weeds are distraction disguised as rest. The phone as a reflex. The habit of being everywhere except where I am. They grow easily. They don’t need encouragement.

The roots take effort. And attention. And repetition.

Watering the roots means putting my phone down — especially when my kids are in the car, when my wife is talking to me, when I’m home but not really home. It means choosing the present version of myself even when the exhausted version is louder. It means admitting I don’t get to outsource my attention and still call myself engaged.

Professionally, it’s the same lesson.

And yes, I get the irony of a person who works with people on clarity, focus, and sustainability. I help people slow down long enough to choose what actually matters. And I'd tell them the same thing, little habits build big changes.

This isn’t a vow to become perfect. It’s not a digital detox announcement. It’s an honest acknowledgment that something has crept in, and I need to get a handle on it — for my family, for my work, and for myself.

So I’m working on it. Out loud. Without pretending I have it solved.

What about you?

If you’re a parent, a partner, a leader, or just a tired human trying to hold too much, you might recognize some of this. If so, I’m curious:

What have you noticed creeping in that’s pulling you away from the life you want to be present for?

What are you working on for yourself this year? What is your mantra for 2026?